I Feel Like Being Emo Right Now...

Fuck my life.

Fuck school.

Fuck my friends.

Fuck my family.

Fuck the grading system.

Fuck my current grades.

Fuck my boyfriend.

Fuck his friends.

Ughhh...

There's more, but I don't remember.

I want him..

I won't name drop, but I want to so bad.

Others know him.

If you don't, you will soon.

In The End, Harshness Conquers All

Hidden behind the facts, there are people who don't know what to do or say.
Life behind the scenes isn't always what you see.
There are people who can balance that out.
For me, I can't hide my true self from many people.
Look in my eyes and tell me you know the truth and I'll try my hardest to say you're wrong.
They say things happen for a reason, but why must the bad stuff hurt so much?
Why can't all of that just run away after it happens?
You know, like die away and never be talked about ever again.
We're just not that lucky, are we?


I won't buy in to the lies, I'll just see if you can make them stop.
I highly doubt that though.
I may have been born a blonde, but it doesn't mean I act that way.
I'm pretty effing smart in my opinion.


Grow some balls for once in your life and say it.
You don't care anymore, so you're not even going to try to make it better.
Once you say that, I can let go and not have to hold on to the memories that I have with you.
That will just be one less pain in my life.


I don't think I care anymore.
I found someone better anyways.
He may not remember me, but damn it, I remember him well.
Soon, the end will be here.
There will be one variable out of the equation, and one put in.
Substitution can be a wonderful thing at times.
Maybe this one will be for the better.


I wanna scream, but I can't get the words to come up.
When she lets me spill my guts, that's when everything about you pours out.
I scream, punch my steering wheel, cry my eyes out.
You're everything I thought I wanted, but you're nowhere near it.
You lie.
You deceit.
You're a cheater.
You breathe in order to hurt everyone around you.
I'm just the idiot that fell for your charm.
Now I'm stuck in a world where everything is what YOU make it.
I can't even get a say in anything, and when I do I'm considered "controlling."
[I'm going to steal a friend's line right here, because it suits the situation:]
Fuck my life!

Commend Me To Thy Lord

Skeletor was looking good on Friday. He looked at me [YAY], but more than likely due to the bright colors haha! I don't know, but I liked it nonetheless =]


I can't keep feeling like this.
I feel like I'm going to scream.
You're everywhere; I see you all the time, even though most of the time you're not really there.
I'm not your first choice, and I'm not afraid to admit that I know this.
I'm just afraid I'm NEVER going to be a choice.
We go to the same places, have the same hang out spots, and talk to the same people pretty much, but still you don't notice me the way I notice you.
You're everything I want, yet nothing I can have.
I want you.
I want you so bad, but you don't care; either that or you don't notice.
Just say you notice me, know who I am.
You don't even have to like me.
Just say you notice me.
Say it one time.
That's all I'm asking.
Please...

For some reason, I'd rather be in another state and another life right now.
Nothing is going as I want it to.
Maybe God really IS real, and he's torturing me.
But I doubt that's what it is.

They say, "Life is what you make it," but I don't think that's really what it is.
If that were to be true, wouldn't we all be famous, or doctors, or something like that?
Life isn't what YOU make it; you're life is dictated by what people you don't know think should happen to you.
I mean, if you think about it, getting a job is dictated by someone you don't know thinking you can do the job or not.
School is based on your teacher thinking you understand the material or not.

It's not fair.
I mean, why can't we decide on what our lives turn out to be like?
I can't stand it.

Maybe someone else out there knows; I know for a fact that I don't know.

Someday, Somehow

Someday this will be easier on me. Not the blogging thing, but the dating thing.


Skinny jeans and a new hair cut.
Gorgeous.
Maybe a new hair color??
Maybe, just maybe.
But probably not yet.


Somehow this will get easier for me. Not blogging, but telling the truth.


Hot.
School.
City.


Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
But, is that true all the time??
Are we really better off not knowing the truth about most things, or do people just say that so others will stop asking so many questions and use their own minds and imaginations??
No one knows for sure.
Maybe it's best that way.













Maybe, just maybe.